Today was a stressful day. I have to admit, it’s mostly self-inflicted. I am still learning to balance my heart that wants to love on my girlies and maximize Greg’s home time; with the heavy homework load for school. So even though I thought I was well prepared coming into this presentation today, I underestimated and had a crying fall-out.
Thankfully, my visions of my team members throwing me bodily out of the classroom never materialized and I realized that my fears of performance and failure are a root that I need to weed out. Striving to be perfect in everything for everybody is a sure way to insanity and I need to graciously do my best and let the chips fall. It’s that self-generating type of stress that has no basis in reality that is so debilitating.
Over the past week, I have discovered that if I exercise, even for 10 minutes, the pay-off is incredible. It makes me feel good and I don’t snack as much, and my mind is clearer to make wise choices. I have been blessed to be faithful with that this week and it has REALLY helped.
Getting back to today, when we have done all we can do and we still feel like it will fall short, God wants us to bury our head in his neck and just let him hold us together. I was really missing Greg since I could not talk to him most of the day, my kids had not seen much of me all day so I was missing them, and my presentation loomed before me like an avalanche in a breeze. I felt spent and overwhelmed.
I sat in the lobby and waited for my team members. (being early can reduce stress too!) I opened my computer, turned on Pandora to some Fred Hammond gospel music, and opened my Bible program to scriptures on hope.
I felt like God just embraced me in the most powerful way–every song lyric was as if He was singing to me, reminding me that He put me where I am and knows where I am going. Every scripture just leaped off the page and I held it in my heart til it melted my fear. After I thought about it, even the radio program on the way to school was talking to me.
It was because of the stress that I was listening so hard. God definitely makes the most of stress before He takes it away. A verse I love, even though part of me hates it; is
Ro 5:3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;
Ro 5:4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope:
Ro 5:5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.
I want the Love shed abroad in my heart. I just don’t like the process of putting it there. God is helping me deal with stress and making me into someone more like him.
Did I mention that writing also reduces stress? See you later, KC